Okay, you can pretty much peruse the entire second edition if you follow this link, cut and paste or however it works:
http://www.nolayout.com/lou-joseph/contemporary-dude-theory/
I can't recommend enough the palpable feel of paper, however - the intimate texture of flipping pages in bed - or on the toilet - all which can be had for $8, well worth it. dudetheory@gmail.com might get you somewhere.
Look for new developments in 2012, when we absorb the feedback from our symposium, add more (always more) knowledge, and include reader-submitted papers in a third edition, powered quite hopefully by kickstarter. Dude-based products to accompany.
Thanks for finding us.
Mary
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Announcing the Dude Theory Symposium
The First Dude Theory Symposium is scheduled to occur !
Where: Rochester, New York at the Flying Squirrel Community Space
When: Sunday, June 5, 2011
The Symposium will feature a presentation of papers written by serious and amateur Dude Theorists - perhaps YOU? Our knowledge will not be complete without additional data and perspectives provided by a range of persons. Please consider addressing the gaps in our Dude Knowledge. See CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS below
For full description of event, go to:
http://flyingsquirrel.rocus.org/node/488
Call For Submission
Published below, for your perusal, is the bulk of the Second Edition of Contemporary Dude Theory.
***********************************************************
***** CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS *****
************************************************************
In conjunction with the First Dude Theory Symposium, CDT is accepting submissions from serious and amateur Dude Theorists.
Selected papers will be presented at Dude Theory Symposium and printed in future Editions.
DEADLINE FOR PAPER SUBMISSIONS: MAY 7
Send all queries & submissions to Marylew
dudetheory@gmail.com
***** CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS *****
************************************************************
In conjunction with the First Dude Theory Symposium, CDT is accepting submissions from serious and amateur Dude Theorists.
Selected papers will be presented at Dude Theory Symposium and printed in future Editions.
DEADLINE FOR PAPER SUBMISSIONS: MAY 7
Send all queries & submissions to Marylew
dudetheory@gmail.com
Table of Contents
CONTEMPORARY DUDE THEORY
Observational hypotheses re: dudes and dude interaction
Don’t Hate Dudes: An Introduction
Who Is A Dude?, or, The 21st Century Dude
Class Structure
Dudes, Folks, Dicks, Monsters
- Dudes and Folk , Faux-Folkism (Convention Hall Socialite, NP-Army)
- Dude/Folk Hybrid (Dude of the Future, Handydude, &c)
- Dick Resistance Front (Conspira-seer, Proto-Hippie, Next Waver, Trash Royalty, Farmsters/Foodsters)
- Weak Dude/Dick Hybrids (Rock Star, Sports Dudes, Douchebag)
- Strong Dude/Dick Hybrids or Tube Dudes (Emporer, Employer, Motivated Hipster, Monger)
- Monster Types
Dude Types: Vibrational Studies Department
(Creep, Jerk, Charmer, Unlucky Dude, Spook, Autistic)
Dude Types: Dude’s Dudes
(Dabbling Dudes, Fixies, Tour Hag, Queen Bee, Holier-Than-Thou, Rattler, Dancing Grandma, Galapagan, Vocal Opinionist, Contrarian, Old Dude, Party Terrorist, Sad Bomb,
Handyman, Academic, Curator, Skeptic)
The Dude Network
- Dude Correspondence
- Dudes in Space (Interior & Exterior Dudes, Transient Dude, Geographic Representative, Localists)
- Dude Training
- The Dude and The Internet
- Dude Relationships (Folk Templates, Partnered Dudes, Old Dudes, Friends, Dude Groupings, Dude Opera, A Dude’s Death)
- Network Communication Hubs (Man/Lady About Town, Jolly Hater, Secretary, Sexual Dynamo)
Dude Values
- Dudes and Normals
- Issues of Production
- The Productive Dude vs. The Non-Productive Dude
- Endless teeth-gnashing about employment OR Dude Occupations
- Motivated Group Efforts
- Why you so busy? (The Knitter, Craft Circles, Lone Wolf, Busy Married Dudes)
- Authenticity (Hipsters, Hate)
- Marriage
- Dudes and Genitals (plus, Menstrual Mention)
- The T-Shirt, or, the Dude Uniform & Other Dude Fashion
- Dudes Like Pizza Dude Fluids?
- Dude Attitudes: Awkwardness, The Church of Awesomeness
The Godfather of Dudes
Don't Hate Dudes: An Introduction
This is a great moment in history. We are now embarking on an important step in the progression of human knowledge: the establishment of a rigorous and precise Dude Theory.
Dude Theory can be practiced by anyone with the proper background and training in Dude Science, whatever their personal attitudes towards dudes may be. Scientifically speaking, Dude Theory is inherently value-neutral, and should be objective and therefore without bias or predisposition either in favor of, or opposed to, dudes.
At the same time, we assert that humor must be an important part of any fully rigorous science. And fun may be made of dudes. It is even potentially possible that a Critical Dude Theory could be undertaken, whose purpose was to identify the underlying structures of dude societies for the purposes of undermining and ultimately destroying them.
But, as founders of this branch of human learning, let us make our personal feelings be known: we do not hate dudes. We like dudes. Of all of the four established classes of humans that have been herein identified, dudes are probably our favorites (though we have great respect for, and love of, folks, as well). Our painstaking research in the development of the process of cataloging dude types, values and networks, far from belittling dudes, only demonstrates our commitment to, and appreciation of, dude-hood.
Moreover, we consider ourselves to be dudes. Perhaps it is this fact that so distinguishes Dude Theory from the outmoded sciences that Dude Theory has replaced, such as anthropology and sociology. These old-fashioned theories tended to impose an artificial set of preconceptions, distinctions, and contrived categorical separations between the subjects and objects of their study, with anthropology presenting itself as a group of cultured, civilized, developed, intellectual, scientific minds studying the “primitives,” and sociology presenting itself as the cool, critical, perceptive way of magically stepping outside of culture in order to objectively identify its power structures. We make no such claims. We are no different from, and certainly no better than, the dudes whom we discuss. We are the dudes we’re talking about. (This being said, we’re not into that whole po-mo self-referential navel-gazing thing, either. This isn’t just about us.) Dude Theory makes no claim to redeem its participants from being dudes, through the magic of intellection.
Dude Theory is not just a new theory – it is a revolution in theory itself. Just as mind must now be understood as profoundly embodied, so must theory come to recognize its complete Dudosity.
That having been said, although the founders of Dude Theory are themselves dudes, we would welcome, as a great and important supplement to our research, Dude Theory from a non-dude perspective. We are keenly interested in folk perspectives on dudes, and although we dread the input of dicks, we recognize that it is necessary for the development of our science. (Nonetheless, we must ask: by participating in dude theorizing, are such humans not becoming somewhat dudish?)
So let us state for the record our great and heartfelt love of dudes. “Dude” is an honorific in our vocabulary. It is a sign of respect and admiration when we refer to a person as “a real dude,” not unlike the term “a real Mensch.” We aspire to be real dudes, and for us, Dude Theory is part of becoming a real dude. Dude theory teaches us new techniques to maximize dudehood. For, in our opinion, folks, dicks, and monsters, whatever their relative worth, all necessarily run counter to the spirit of democracy. It is only through the establishment of very strong and supportive Dude Structures that fully-fledged democracy is possible, not to mention such far-flung hopes such as anarchy, socialism, or total dudetopia.
Dude Theory can be practiced by anyone with the proper background and training in Dude Science, whatever their personal attitudes towards dudes may be. Scientifically speaking, Dude Theory is inherently value-neutral, and should be objective and therefore without bias or predisposition either in favor of, or opposed to, dudes.
At the same time, we assert that humor must be an important part of any fully rigorous science. And fun may be made of dudes. It is even potentially possible that a Critical Dude Theory could be undertaken, whose purpose was to identify the underlying structures of dude societies for the purposes of undermining and ultimately destroying them.
But, as founders of this branch of human learning, let us make our personal feelings be known: we do not hate dudes. We like dudes. Of all of the four established classes of humans that have been herein identified, dudes are probably our favorites (though we have great respect for, and love of, folks, as well). Our painstaking research in the development of the process of cataloging dude types, values and networks, far from belittling dudes, only demonstrates our commitment to, and appreciation of, dude-hood.
Moreover, we consider ourselves to be dudes. Perhaps it is this fact that so distinguishes Dude Theory from the outmoded sciences that Dude Theory has replaced, such as anthropology and sociology. These old-fashioned theories tended to impose an artificial set of preconceptions, distinctions, and contrived categorical separations between the subjects and objects of their study, with anthropology presenting itself as a group of cultured, civilized, developed, intellectual, scientific minds studying the “primitives,” and sociology presenting itself as the cool, critical, perceptive way of magically stepping outside of culture in order to objectively identify its power structures. We make no such claims. We are no different from, and certainly no better than, the dudes whom we discuss. We are the dudes we’re talking about. (This being said, we’re not into that whole po-mo self-referential navel-gazing thing, either. This isn’t just about us.) Dude Theory makes no claim to redeem its participants from being dudes, through the magic of intellection.
Dude Theory is not just a new theory – it is a revolution in theory itself. Just as mind must now be understood as profoundly embodied, so must theory come to recognize its complete Dudosity.
That having been said, although the founders of Dude Theory are themselves dudes, we would welcome, as a great and important supplement to our research, Dude Theory from a non-dude perspective. We are keenly interested in folk perspectives on dudes, and although we dread the input of dicks, we recognize that it is necessary for the development of our science. (Nonetheless, we must ask: by participating in dude theorizing, are such humans not becoming somewhat dudish?)
So let us state for the record our great and heartfelt love of dudes. “Dude” is an honorific in our vocabulary. It is a sign of respect and admiration when we refer to a person as “a real dude,” not unlike the term “a real Mensch.” We aspire to be real dudes, and for us, Dude Theory is part of becoming a real dude. Dude theory teaches us new techniques to maximize dudehood. For, in our opinion, folks, dicks, and monsters, whatever their relative worth, all necessarily run counter to the spirit of democracy. It is only through the establishment of very strong and supportive Dude Structures that fully-fledged democracy is possible, not to mention such far-flung hopes such as anarchy, socialism, or total dudetopia.
Who Is A Dude? or The 21st Century Dude
You have an idea about what a Dude is, but probably your archetype is what we term the 20th Century Dude - somewhere in between the purity of Jeff Lebowski and the corrupt “bro”1. Perhaps the nature of the Dude changes anew with every Century - a dandified gentleman in the 18th becomes an inexperienced cowboy in the 19th. But the times are changing, and we are here to present and explore the 21st Century Dude.2
Looking at the internet’s democratically arranged wiktionary in January 20113, we note that the primary definition of Dude is “a man” - but clicking over to the definition of its plural, we see “any group of people, regardless of gender.” Without putting too much stock in wiktionary (after all, they also define dude as “a stranger”, whereas we say “a familiar or known person”), the drop of gender is interesting to note, as it nods to our assertion that Dude is a gender-free identifier.
We understand this is a controversial stance, and more will be said about dudes and gender, at length. We are specifically working to disabuse terminology of outdated segregations, and acknowledge an essential characteristic of the Dude to be a person compelled by individual nature. Though the shape of inborn genitalia was once assumed to suggest a template for one’s personality, we are now in an era of cultural override, which celebrates the capacity for infinite variation. At any rate, it would do us good to revisit those historic definitions of Dudes, and note that they refer to men-who-are-not-quite-men. How did this become translated into the 20th Century sense of a hyper-masculine Dude (bro)?
Though there have always been Dudes, there is currently a glut of them. A majority of college students will dabble in some form of dude lifestyle (some colleges seem to promote this; see Dude Training), and widespread internet use among children provides the fertile ground from whence dudes spring. These examples align Dudes with youth and verily, a dude of any age is likely to have some youthful aspect. But lifetime Dudes exist, and with greater cultural prominence and relevance than ever before.4
Looking at the internet’s democratically arranged wiktionary in January 20113, we note that the primary definition of Dude is “a man” - but clicking over to the definition of its plural, we see “any group of people, regardless of gender.” Without putting too much stock in wiktionary (after all, they also define dude as “a stranger”, whereas we say “a familiar or known person”), the drop of gender is interesting to note, as it nods to our assertion that Dude is a gender-free identifier.
We understand this is a controversial stance, and more will be said about dudes and gender, at length. We are specifically working to disabuse terminology of outdated segregations, and acknowledge an essential characteristic of the Dude to be a person compelled by individual nature. Though the shape of inborn genitalia was once assumed to suggest a template for one’s personality, we are now in an era of cultural override, which celebrates the capacity for infinite variation. At any rate, it would do us good to revisit those historic definitions of Dudes, and note that they refer to men-who-are-not-quite-men. How did this become translated into the 20th Century sense of a hyper-masculine Dude (bro)?
Though there have always been Dudes, there is currently a glut of them. A majority of college students will dabble in some form of dude lifestyle (some colleges seem to promote this; see Dude Training), and widespread internet use among children provides the fertile ground from whence dudes spring. These examples align Dudes with youth and verily, a dude of any age is likely to have some youthful aspect. But lifetime Dudes exist, and with greater cultural prominence and relevance than ever before.4
Class Structure
Whether you like it or not, Dudes are emerging as the new, self-determined Class in 21st C. America. Following are definitions of four major class strata, based less on the traditional economic standard and more on lifestyle/value systems.5 In no order:
FOLKS – Primary self-awareness is as members of a Group; a Folk sees itself as a piece within a whole. The Group is religious, ethnic, or regional, into which the Folk has been born. The Group offers a pre-determined set of values that a Folk has more or less accepted as a lifestyle template.
DICKS – This is the active scaler of corporate, political, or social ladders, for the express goal of dominance. The values and goals of this person are socially imposed (e.g. more is better), yet glorify the imperial individual. This is the common but essentially conflicted life template of the Dick.
The group is named after the common slang for male genitalia, implicating the overwhelmingly masculine content and character of almost all power structures of recorded civilization.
DUDES – Place greatest importance on individuals. Prefer to develop Individual Characteristics (either imposed/manufactured or discovered/inherent), through creative involvement with Culture, as information/object/commodity and/or social community. This has its positive aspects, such as creativity and innovation, and its negative aspects, such as social alienation, empty novelty, universal irony, cynicism, and dead-end nihilism.
These three classes form a kind of “trinity.” The Dude emerges from a national cultural struggle between the dominant Folk and Dick class identities, which are naturally polarized, much as the traditional masculine father and feminine mother. The identity qualities of Dick and Folk are so predominant in our historical social landscape that we suggest all dudes lean one way or the other, and evidently tend to congregate with the like subsets. There are also:
MONSTERS – Monsters don’t fit into any of the three above categories. There are many types of Monsters, but all have a personal fixation that tends to incessantly draw the majority of a human’s energy and focus. Monsterism is generally identified as an extreme version of a personality type - a personal quirk blown up into untenable proportions. [see below: Monster Types]
An individual is never 100% Dude or Folk or Dick or Monster, but possesses and demonstrates qualities of each as he moves within different aspects of his life: self-development/cultural involvement (dude), inherited social relationships (folk), arenas of wage-earning (dick), and obsessions (monster). However, every person will display a primary alignment with one of these classes, basically to whichever one it gives the most energy and effort. This is referred to as a “strong” association. A person may change their class alignment within their lifetime.
FOLKS – Primary self-awareness is as members of a Group; a Folk sees itself as a piece within a whole. The Group is religious, ethnic, or regional, into which the Folk has been born. The Group offers a pre-determined set of values that a Folk has more or less accepted as a lifestyle template.
DICKS – This is the active scaler of corporate, political, or social ladders, for the express goal of dominance. The values and goals of this person are socially imposed (e.g. more is better), yet glorify the imperial individual. This is the common but essentially conflicted life template of the Dick.
The group is named after the common slang for male genitalia, implicating the overwhelmingly masculine content and character of almost all power structures of recorded civilization.
DUDES – Place greatest importance on individuals. Prefer to develop Individual Characteristics (either imposed/manufactured or discovered/inherent), through creative involvement with Culture, as information/object/commodity and/or social community. This has its positive aspects, such as creativity and innovation, and its negative aspects, such as social alienation, empty novelty, universal irony, cynicism, and dead-end nihilism.
These three classes form a kind of “trinity.” The Dude emerges from a national cultural struggle between the dominant Folk and Dick class identities, which are naturally polarized, much as the traditional masculine father and feminine mother. The identity qualities of Dick and Folk are so predominant in our historical social landscape that we suggest all dudes lean one way or the other, and evidently tend to congregate with the like subsets. There are also:
MONSTERS – Monsters don’t fit into any of the three above categories. There are many types of Monsters, but all have a personal fixation that tends to incessantly draw the majority of a human’s energy and focus. Monsterism is generally identified as an extreme version of a personality type - a personal quirk blown up into untenable proportions. [see below: Monster Types]
---
An individual is never 100% Dude or Folk or Dick or Monster, but possesses and demonstrates qualities of each as he moves within different aspects of his life: self-development/cultural involvement (dude), inherited social relationships (folk), arenas of wage-earning (dick), and obsessions (monster). However, every person will display a primary alignment with one of these classes, basically to whichever one it gives the most energy and effort. This is referred to as a “strong” association. A person may change their class alignment within their lifetime.
Dudes and Folk
The first step towards Dudism
Often, dudes have to define themselves against a folk upbringing, reassessing the values that have been passed down to them from their families, schools, churches, corporate environments, and so on.6 Folk-structures tend to promote conformity, which is not bad in itself. It is through elaborate folk structures that great traditions have been passed down, often in a non-hierarchical, organic way, and these traditions provide us with the cultural, symbolic “raw materials,” so to speak, which we dudes may rearrange as artists to produce our own dude-selves.
The strong influence of Folk upbringing compels Dudes to participate in Groups where individuals share a valued quality, activity or aspect of identity. There are innumerable examples of these subculture activities, from burlesque theater to knitting circles to community-supported agriculture to guerrilla bike-riding. Over a dude’s lifetime, a single group may come to express such dominance in its life that the dude may revert to a kind of faux-folk. The fine line between a Dude and a faux-folk is how able and willing that person is to continue interacting with Dudes and dude culture not associated with its favored group.
There are a couple of reasons for the fall into faux-folk. A dude might come into a Group before he has formed a substantial chunk of his own value system. The Group feels familiar and the ideas and attitudes he finds therein are more developed extensions of his own inklings. The dude might then personally espouse a kind of allegiance to and emulation of the Group that is Folk in character. In another case, a strong dude might be moved by social injustice to band together with other similarly oriented dudes in a Group that addresses and combats the perceived injustice. If the Group’s fellow members and goals take prominence in the dude’s life to the exclusion of others, then she, too, is moving from a Dude to a Faux-Folk lifestyle.7
Dudes tending toward Faux-Folkism:
CONVENTION HALL SOCIALITE
This is a Dude whose primary social group tends to gather in conventions – comics, anachronism societies, and furries are all representative of this social type. The individual bent of this dude is so contrary to the bent of general society that like types can only be found in the darkest, dustiest corridors of the culture, and said types are not likely to bump into flesh-and-blood like-minded fellows without the help of these large-scale encounter events. The internet widens these corridors, making them a lot less dusty, if only a little less dark.
NP-ARMY or BEIGE RACE
This type does not stand out in a crowd – she and he present themselves with an utterly sober comportment and fashion (often bespectacled). They tend to primarily value refined knowledge, or the air of education, which tends to remove them from passionate expression and urges to debauchery. Also called “enunciators”, these are avid subscribers to NPR and pack the house at a Spalding Grey concert, emitting muffled clouds of knowing laughter at his most oblique references.
Beyond Faux-Folk lies the hallowed realm of Babymaking, responsible for the transformation of dudes into Next Generation Folk, often unintentionally! Many a young, partnered Dude has had to abandon the full-time dude lifestyle for some combination of Dick and Folk (economic and familial) existence, faithfully if decreasingly retaining contact with some friend(s) or preoccupation from fondly regarded Dude years.
Dude/Folk Hybrids
Some Dude Types require mass affirmation, primarily involving association with many like-minded Dudes, and in this way can be viewed as Dude/Folk hybrids. See: Jam Bands and their Tourists (also Tour Hag), Proto-Hippies (especially Community Living Co-ops), Farmsters, Sports Dudes, and Academics. Queen Bees, Motivated Hipsters, Grandmothers and Network Hubs promote a sort of Dude/Folk hybridism from the top down, as their efforts encourage diversified Dudes to act in Groups. In a negative fashion, we could understand the Holier-Than-Thou to be a form of Dude/Folk Hybrid, as this type erects a firm value system that is used to judge and exclude the differently-minded.
The Dude of the Future
Sure, Babymaking often replaces a parent’s Dude values for more traditional/practical ones … but what if it does not? Dude Network is gaining ground and can actually provide support for the (often single) Dude Parent, who is now, more than ever, able to impart dude values directly into its progeny. What will these future Dudes be like? We can’t wait to see!
The Handydude
Primarily the member of some Folk Group, this person is heartily endorsed by the Dude community for his perpetual earnest willingness to help out his neighbors. Sure, the Handydude may be primarily acting from a Folkish impulse, but the implication of that assumption has heavy Dude overtones, and unintentionally promotes positive qualities of Dudism.
Dudes and Dicks
We can generally say that Dicks and Dudes have oppositely-oriented value systems; indeed they are often enemies. But because the Dick Structure so firmly entrenches our world, and because Dudes operate on all different levels of self- and social awareness, we can witness a wide variety of interminglements between Dude and Dick phenomena: in hybrid personas, in gentle refusal or rabidly reactionary stances, and in Dude’s subtle or not-so-subtle co-option of Dick-type structures and techniques of power manifestation.8
Dick Resistance Front
DUDES AGAINST DICKS (Dick Resistance Front)
So Dicks want to tell you what to do (and to do things that benefit Dicks), but Dudes want to figure out what to do for themselves, more or less. That firm quality of Dudism - the higher aspiration of training individuality - is aware of this scenario as a problem. Dicks are already in power, and they aren’t sharing. Why give Dicks more power? A great sector of Dude Society has been developed in the pursuit of solutions to this problem, and the solution is often the promotion of and participation in an increasingly Dude-centric economy.
Perhaps the initial burr causing Dudes’ huge anti-dick distrust is a core resentment of co-option and portrayal of “coolness” (in consumer culture) by Dicks. This is not to say that Dudes are synonymous with “coolness”, nor is it the express quest of a Dude to be cool. [see “Awesomeness” in Dude Values] But if we postulate that an essential quality of “cool” is a disregard of authority in favor of individual values, we can see where a strong Dude might project Cool. Thus, Dude Types are frequently, if inadvertently, portrayed by Dicks in the service of selling products, towards the Dick Profit Motive. This is a serious compromise to the integrity of all Dudes, by implication. They’re ripping us off, man!9
On the other hand, Dicks work to spread the phenomenon of Dudeness globally. Like a Dude virus! There is an appeal to Dude values, and since that is the source material from which Dicks create their advertising campaigns, that is the seed that takes root. Though the Dicks really only want to convert all under an Empire, the gospel of Dude (Duderonomy?) and its promise of individuality reaches into every second and third world enclave.
CONSPIRA-SEER
This Dude basically sees the hand of the Dick in everything. It’s a kind of behind-the-scenes vision that can really get out of control. To a certain extent, it is reasonable to attempt to understand the driving forces behind things, but if your Conspira-seer is using speculative judgments mixed with paranoid assumption, things can get pretty outrageous. This obsession with hyper-Dickness may be a thin disguise for a personal strong Dick association - who better to understand the ways of a Dick? The dude inside the Conspira-seer is thus ruefully aware of Dick Techniques, and has probably used that kind of brusque skill to divorce himself from many social niceties and responsibilities, without actually allowing himself to profit in Dick fashion (though he can tell you how he could).
THE PROTO-HIPPIE or PATRIOT
The Proto-Hippie is enamored of the same goals and values that entranced the common Hippie (1960’s). However, contemporary awareness of the generational arc of the original Hippies lends the Proto-Hippies a less naïve approach to the vast idealism of their values. They have seen the essential wisdom of love- and Nature-based ideologies easily co-opted and insidiously distorted by savvy media empires and dick conglomerates. In order to perpetuate these ideologies without hypocrisy, they must develop a wily style of survival.
NEXT WAVERS
A ideological manifestation of a Proto-Hippie(?), these Dudes are interested or invested in social change, human evolution and/or a general sense of progress. They are self-aware inheritors of the New Age. This can be lousy (sanctimonious post-irony) or totally awesome (post-ironic integrity).
TRASH ROYALTY
The dude who gets everything necessary for survival out of the trash or secondhand, and is quite proud of this fact. The more commonly known “Freegan” subsists through similar principles of consumption, but acts on the opposite end of the Quality spectrum from Trash Royalty; so, a Freegan consumes anything rightfully found, but TR will throw out the unopened crappy beers at the end of the party. There is a sense that this person lives in a kind of bourgeois-y opulence, with all needs and, potentially, luxuries satisfied. Trash Royalty attitudes touch upon the values of Holier-Than-Thous and Disciples of Awesomeness, but tend to be more acquisition-focused. Trash picking may be elevated to the level of obsession.
FARMSTERS / FOODSTERS
(see Productive Dudes, Next Wavers): Subverting the traditional Dick Culture of Economic Survival is a trend in Dude Ambition, especially for Next Wavers. Forward thinking and socially-minded, these Dudes have applied their efforts toward securing their own survival solutions, especially FOOD and FARMING. Of course, a Dude can resourcefully utilize the take-home personal perks of their Food Service Job, and any Dabbler can handle a backyard garden, but the Foodster has a true lifestyle commitment to this Activity. Here are a few noted ways Dude Culture relates to FOOD:
So Dicks want to tell you what to do (and to do things that benefit Dicks), but Dudes want to figure out what to do for themselves, more or less. That firm quality of Dudism - the higher aspiration of training individuality - is aware of this scenario as a problem. Dicks are already in power, and they aren’t sharing. Why give Dicks more power? A great sector of Dude Society has been developed in the pursuit of solutions to this problem, and the solution is often the promotion of and participation in an increasingly Dude-centric economy.
Perhaps the initial burr causing Dudes’ huge anti-dick distrust is a core resentment of co-option and portrayal of “coolness” (in consumer culture) by Dicks. This is not to say that Dudes are synonymous with “coolness”, nor is it the express quest of a Dude to be cool. [see “Awesomeness” in Dude Values] But if we postulate that an essential quality of “cool” is a disregard of authority in favor of individual values, we can see where a strong Dude might project Cool. Thus, Dude Types are frequently, if inadvertently, portrayed by Dicks in the service of selling products, towards the Dick Profit Motive. This is a serious compromise to the integrity of all Dudes, by implication. They’re ripping us off, man!9
On the other hand, Dicks work to spread the phenomenon of Dudeness globally. Like a Dude virus! There is an appeal to Dude values, and since that is the source material from which Dicks create their advertising campaigns, that is the seed that takes root. Though the Dicks really only want to convert all under an Empire, the gospel of Dude (Duderonomy?) and its promise of individuality reaches into every second and third world enclave.
CONSPIRA-SEER
This Dude basically sees the hand of the Dick in everything. It’s a kind of behind-the-scenes vision that can really get out of control. To a certain extent, it is reasonable to attempt to understand the driving forces behind things, but if your Conspira-seer is using speculative judgments mixed with paranoid assumption, things can get pretty outrageous. This obsession with hyper-Dickness may be a thin disguise for a personal strong Dick association - who better to understand the ways of a Dick? The dude inside the Conspira-seer is thus ruefully aware of Dick Techniques, and has probably used that kind of brusque skill to divorce himself from many social niceties and responsibilities, without actually allowing himself to profit in Dick fashion (though he can tell you how he could).
THE PROTO-HIPPIE or PATRIOT
The Proto-Hippie is enamored of the same goals and values that entranced the common Hippie (1960’s). However, contemporary awareness of the generational arc of the original Hippies lends the Proto-Hippies a less naïve approach to the vast idealism of their values. They have seen the essential wisdom of love- and Nature-based ideologies easily co-opted and insidiously distorted by savvy media empires and dick conglomerates. In order to perpetuate these ideologies without hypocrisy, they must develop a wily style of survival.
The core and shared values of Hippie-types have an Emersonian heritage. It is a historically American desire to reject the accepted power structure and forge ahead with a will to self-discovery and resourceful independence.
NEXT WAVERS
A ideological manifestation of a Proto-Hippie(?), these Dudes are interested or invested in social change, human evolution and/or a general sense of progress. They are self-aware inheritors of the New Age. This can be lousy (sanctimonious post-irony) or totally awesome (post-ironic integrity).
TRASH ROYALTY
The dude who gets everything necessary for survival out of the trash or secondhand, and is quite proud of this fact. The more commonly known “Freegan” subsists through similar principles of consumption, but acts on the opposite end of the Quality spectrum from Trash Royalty; so, a Freegan consumes anything rightfully found, but TR will throw out the unopened crappy beers at the end of the party. There is a sense that this person lives in a kind of bourgeois-y opulence, with all needs and, potentially, luxuries satisfied. Trash Royalty attitudes touch upon the values of Holier-Than-Thous and Disciples of Awesomeness, but tend to be more acquisition-focused. Trash picking may be elevated to the level of obsession.
FARMSTERS / FOODSTERS
(see Productive Dudes, Next Wavers): Subverting the traditional Dick Culture of Economic Survival is a trend in Dude Ambition, especially for Next Wavers. Forward thinking and socially-minded, these Dudes have applied their efforts toward securing their own survival solutions, especially FOOD and FARMING. Of course, a Dude can resourcefully utilize the take-home personal perks of their Food Service Job, and any Dabbler can handle a backyard garden, but the Foodster has a true lifestyle commitment to this Activity. Here are a few noted ways Dude Culture relates to FOOD:
- CSA
- DIY bakery
- Pizza Speakeasy
- Community Garden - especially altruistic Art World trend in inner-cities
- Backyard Chickens
- WOOFing
Weak Dude/Dick Hybrids
As a numbers game, the Dicks’ portrayal of coolness (in the service of sales pitch) often works in their favor, to varying degrees. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the Dicks are so entrenched that they literally write the rules of the game, so of course they are “winning” in a big way. Indeed, we can observe many humans who have learned about Dudism primarily through a Dick lens, and if that human does not dig any deeper, we then note a Weak Dude/Dick Hybrid.
WEAK DUDE/DICK HYBRIDS
The self-dubbed Rock Star is the guy who sidesteps his or her own mediocrity by being aggressively enthusiastic about the objects of “his” or “her” taste. In this way, it places itself at the pinnacle of some externally defined cultural pyramid, experiencing at least the illusion of power dominance. See Dude Training for origins of Rock Stars. Probably just a Dick after all.
SPORTS DUDES are dudes heavily involved in watching and participating in various sports (duh), but generally they can move away from dudism the deeper they get into their obsession (like any other). This movement might seem to be Folkish, but is in fact technically Dickish, as Sports itself is an originally Dickish pasttime. The obsessive quality would normally indicate a straight line towards monsterism, but because there is a deep sub-language of sports in dick and folk culture, the monsterism can be thus masked.10
Douchebag or Tool (perhaps Douche Nozzle): This is a person truly on the cusp between Dick and Dude - fervently embracing a Venn Slice between these two categories. It is instinctual to be repulsed by these types.
The Weak Dude/Dick hybrid announces itself most physically in the Sausage Party, a common gathering of self-identified “bros” (may include a small content of girlfriend (fuck accessory) or otherwise tamed vagina). Sausage parties are celebrations of shared maleness that stand as islands of relief from wild vaginas that naturally compromise and question the evident power of the dick. Sausage parties often focus on a shared hobby or consumable, such as sports, music, comic books, tai chi or booze. Explicit competition or mastery of the subject recreates a familiar and reassuring power structure to place himself within the sausage grouping. The more True Dude version of the Sausage Party exists, consisting of a group of Guys. Guys, of course, include women as well as men. This Gang of Guys may in fact occur when Stronger Uterine Dudes begin to infiltrate a junior sausage party - no tamed v’s here.
WEAK DUDE/DICK HYBRIDS
The self-dubbed Rock Star is the guy who sidesteps his or her own mediocrity by being aggressively enthusiastic about the objects of “his” or “her” taste. In this way, it places itself at the pinnacle of some externally defined cultural pyramid, experiencing at least the illusion of power dominance. See Dude Training for origins of Rock Stars. Probably just a Dick after all.
SPORTS DUDES are dudes heavily involved in watching and participating in various sports (duh), but generally they can move away from dudism the deeper they get into their obsession (like any other). This movement might seem to be Folkish, but is in fact technically Dickish, as Sports itself is an originally Dickish pasttime. The obsessive quality would normally indicate a straight line towards monsterism, but because there is a deep sub-language of sports in dick and folk culture, the monsterism can be thus masked.10
Douchebag or Tool (perhaps Douche Nozzle): This is a person truly on the cusp between Dick and Dude - fervently embracing a Venn Slice between these two categories. It is instinctual to be repulsed by these types.
The Weak Dude/Dick hybrid announces itself most physically in the Sausage Party, a common gathering of self-identified “bros” (may include a small content of girlfriend (fuck accessory) or otherwise tamed vagina). Sausage parties are celebrations of shared maleness that stand as islands of relief from wild vaginas that naturally compromise and question the evident power of the dick. Sausage parties often focus on a shared hobby or consumable, such as sports, music, comic books, tai chi or booze. Explicit competition or mastery of the subject recreates a familiar and reassuring power structure to place himself within the sausage grouping. The more True Dude version of the Sausage Party exists, consisting of a group of Guys. Guys, of course, include women as well as men. This Gang of Guys may in fact occur when Stronger Uterine Dudes begin to infiltrate a junior sausage party - no tamed v’s here.
Strong Dick/Dude Hybrids (Tube Dudes)
In general, we understand that the term Dick again conjures up Men, and certainly that is not the whole truth. A more reasonable and equitable term might be Tube, as “tube” refers to the generally shared form of any gender’s genitalia and further refers to the creative power endemic in any human.
A Tube Dude is a dude bent on rewriting the rules towards its own ends, and it works with the template for “power” that has been largely stamped by Dicks. Tube Dudes share with Dicks a strong will to make an imprint upon the world around them. Tube Dudes are not uncommon in the Dude community, and they use a range of Dick techniques. Often a goal or main component of the Tube Dude project is some physical structure or location - the fostering of a Dude Empire.
The Dude Empire is most skillfully (and dudishly) manifest in a physical space fostered in the promotion of the chosen endeavor. This space should be open to the public in some fashion, so that there is a range of benefit within the community - basically people can participate in the field/work and/or receive the benefit of the work. There is not a whole lot of profit happening here; the concern is either cultural or social. Success is rather measured in quality of productions and/or popularity of the effort. The Empire is gotten through the Tube Dude we call Emperor, who is a single person more or less owning or controlling the space. The Empire is probably not the sole source of income for the Emperor. (An Empire can also be gotten by a group of motivated dudes, see Dude Values.)
Emperor - This Dude is a master (sometimes hopeful master?) in her dude field; includes the ownership or control of a physical space (Empire) fostered in the promotion of the chosen field/work. She is out in public - people generally know who this Dude is, and she is in contact with many people regarding the state and functions of the Empire. However, the Emperor may not be accessible in the way of your average Dude, therefore there is less shooting of shit and unscheduled hanging out.
Some Dudes affect aspirations toward an Empire, but if it is intended to exist for more explicitly personal gain, it cannot be regarded a Dude Empire. In this scenario, the Dude (or perhaps team of Busy Married Dudes) is not Emperor but Employer, inasmuch as this type of large scale project involves his Dude Network, using friendly Dudes as the necessary manpower. A participating “employee” Dude’s Dudosity is totally indulged by this loose style of Employment (not too demanding, writes his own hours, decent wage with no taxes, little perks like lunch and coffee etc, and basically a hang-out style atmosphere) and the long-term benefit of having invested, upwardly mobile friends (should they choose to remain Dudes).
Often a real Tube project needs the manpower of willing helpers to be successful. A motivated, large scale project foisted by a Tube Dude on her Dude Economy or general society can go either way on the Dick-Dude spectrum, depending on the extent to which she is allegiant to Dude Values. A measure of the relative Dudosity of any Tube project can be gleaned from observing: how much is “fairness” towards helpers employed in the endeavor (for this is a value often glaringly absent in Profit Motive)? Other assessments could be made through observations of Fun, Gratitude, &c. We mention this not to be judgmental of Dude Efforts but as a useful, cautionary tale. If you are a Dude or considering a Dude lifestyle, you may be enlisted in the service of a Tube’s project, and it is good to know what to look out for!
Motivated Hipster
The “Motivated Hipster”11 is a more productive version of the Dabbler, actually promoting and elevating the development of its projects. The Motivated Hipster succeeds in achieving relative cultural power through ruthless pursuit, most notably engaging others towards its end without returning the favor.
MONGER
The Monger (aka, The Professional) is active and networks within her field, but is primarily involved with the creation of a product, often creative and unique. The creative product is not a group effort, because the primary motive is economic profit. The Monger is oddly comfortable with marketing to fellow Dudes; this may be explained by a family to support or house payments. Mongers began as Dudes (and may or may not care to preserve that strong association), and are thus able to use insider dude consumer information to their benefit, targeting and increasing large audiences through various uses of the Dude Network. (see Productive Dudes, Internet)
The BULLSHIT ACTIVIST
Not to be confused with the Holier-Than-Thou (see Dude’s Dudes), this dude/dick has unlimited compassion for their cause (Socialism, Veganism, etc) countered by very limited compassion for partners, families, or other dudes. This theoretical compassion (rarely tested) masks essentially straight up dick or monster behavior.
A Tube Dude is a dude bent on rewriting the rules towards its own ends, and it works with the template for “power” that has been largely stamped by Dicks. Tube Dudes share with Dicks a strong will to make an imprint upon the world around them. Tube Dudes are not uncommon in the Dude community, and they use a range of Dick techniques. Often a goal or main component of the Tube Dude project is some physical structure or location - the fostering of a Dude Empire.
The Dude Empire is most skillfully (and dudishly) manifest in a physical space fostered in the promotion of the chosen endeavor. This space should be open to the public in some fashion, so that there is a range of benefit within the community - basically people can participate in the field/work and/or receive the benefit of the work. There is not a whole lot of profit happening here; the concern is either cultural or social. Success is rather measured in quality of productions and/or popularity of the effort. The Empire is gotten through the Tube Dude we call Emperor, who is a single person more or less owning or controlling the space. The Empire is probably not the sole source of income for the Emperor. (An Empire can also be gotten by a group of motivated dudes, see Dude Values.)
Emperor - This Dude is a master (sometimes hopeful master?) in her dude field; includes the ownership or control of a physical space (Empire) fostered in the promotion of the chosen field/work. She is out in public - people generally know who this Dude is, and she is in contact with many people regarding the state and functions of the Empire. However, the Emperor may not be accessible in the way of your average Dude, therefore there is less shooting of shit and unscheduled hanging out.
Some Dudes affect aspirations toward an Empire, but if it is intended to exist for more explicitly personal gain, it cannot be regarded a Dude Empire. In this scenario, the Dude (or perhaps team of Busy Married Dudes) is not Emperor but Employer, inasmuch as this type of large scale project involves his Dude Network, using friendly Dudes as the necessary manpower. A participating “employee” Dude’s Dudosity is totally indulged by this loose style of Employment (not too demanding, writes his own hours, decent wage with no taxes, little perks like lunch and coffee etc, and basically a hang-out style atmosphere) and the long-term benefit of having invested, upwardly mobile friends (should they choose to remain Dudes).
Often a real Tube project needs the manpower of willing helpers to be successful. A motivated, large scale project foisted by a Tube Dude on her Dude Economy or general society can go either way on the Dick-Dude spectrum, depending on the extent to which she is allegiant to Dude Values. A measure of the relative Dudosity of any Tube project can be gleaned from observing: how much is “fairness” towards helpers employed in the endeavor (for this is a value often glaringly absent in Profit Motive)? Other assessments could be made through observations of Fun, Gratitude, &c. We mention this not to be judgmental of Dude Efforts but as a useful, cautionary tale. If you are a Dude or considering a Dude lifestyle, you may be enlisted in the service of a Tube’s project, and it is good to know what to look out for!
Motivated Hipster
The “Motivated Hipster”11 is a more productive version of the Dabbler, actually promoting and elevating the development of its projects. The Motivated Hipster succeeds in achieving relative cultural power through ruthless pursuit, most notably engaging others towards its end without returning the favor.
MONGER
The Monger (aka, The Professional) is active and networks within her field, but is primarily involved with the creation of a product, often creative and unique. The creative product is not a group effort, because the primary motive is economic profit. The Monger is oddly comfortable with marketing to fellow Dudes; this may be explained by a family to support or house payments. Mongers began as Dudes (and may or may not care to preserve that strong association), and are thus able to use insider dude consumer information to their benefit, targeting and increasing large audiences through various uses of the Dude Network. (see Productive Dudes, Internet)
The BULLSHIT ACTIVIST
Not to be confused with the Holier-Than-Thou (see Dude’s Dudes), this dude/dick has unlimited compassion for their cause (Socialism, Veganism, etc) countered by very limited compassion for partners, families, or other dudes. This theoretical compassion (rarely tested) masks essentially straight up dick or monster behavior.
Monsters and Monster Types
In addition to Dudes, Dicks, and Folks, there is a fourth class of humans, known as “Monsters.” This word is etymologically linked with the Latin monstrare, the root of the word “demonstrate,” which means “to point out or show.” When Linnaeus classified animals and plants, there were some creatures that did not easily fit into any categories, (like the platypus) and had to be demonstrated separately: monsters.
Monsters are often outgrowths of other categories, people that have gone “too far” in a particular direction (generally the direction of their obsession) and are no longer dudes (or folk, or dicks, etc.). This is a phenomenon known as “monsterism.”
MONSTER TYPES
FIENDS: Severe addicts of slightly dangerous drugs, such as methamphetamine, heroin, and crack. Not every addict is a fiend - some are still dudes - but addiction sadly can cause people to lose their dudehood. Fiends often became involved in these drugs through dudish activities, either by hanging out with dudes who were using these drugs recreationally, or out of a deep personal striving, searching for the ultimate Fountain of Dudehood, which would magically replenish their dude fluid. But unfortunately, these people often end up losing all of their dudishness and turn into empty shells, bereft of all dude fluid.
ZOMBIES: Addicts of extremely dangerous (but mostly socially acceptable) drugs, like alcohol, television, facebook, and Scientology. Zombies resemble fiends in their emptiness and lack of dude fluid, but did not get into their addiction in an attempt at dudehood, but because of the horribly addictive and mind-destroying properties of these drugs, and because of the fact that these drugs are allowed and indeed strongly encouraged by the L.S.S. (larger social structure) This is evidence that, like an actual Zombie, this Monster does have Dude Fluid, but it had atrophied and hardened from this kind of self-abuse.12
GHOULS: Ghouls resemble Zombies and Fiends in superficial ways, but there is no discernible drug that has sapped their dude fluid. They simply waste away to nothing for no clear reason. The undeniable existence of Ghouls is one of the profound and sad mysteries of dude science.13
VAMPIRE: This person thrives off the energy of Dude Groups, encouraging the group’s existence without adding their own productive motivation. This Monster is suspected of leeching energy (or Dude Fluid) from the group. Potential Folk Monster.
Monsters discussed elsewhere in Dude Theory are:
ASSHOLES: The Dude Monsterism
COLLECTORS see Chris Ware14
SPORTS DUDES
MONGERS
TOUR HAG
VAMPIRE
BLOB
Monsters are often outgrowths of other categories, people that have gone “too far” in a particular direction (generally the direction of their obsession) and are no longer dudes (or folk, or dicks, etc.). This is a phenomenon known as “monsterism.”
MONSTER TYPES
FIENDS: Severe addicts of slightly dangerous drugs, such as methamphetamine, heroin, and crack. Not every addict is a fiend - some are still dudes - but addiction sadly can cause people to lose their dudehood. Fiends often became involved in these drugs through dudish activities, either by hanging out with dudes who were using these drugs recreationally, or out of a deep personal striving, searching for the ultimate Fountain of Dudehood, which would magically replenish their dude fluid. But unfortunately, these people often end up losing all of their dudishness and turn into empty shells, bereft of all dude fluid.
ZOMBIES: Addicts of extremely dangerous (but mostly socially acceptable) drugs, like alcohol, television, facebook, and Scientology. Zombies resemble fiends in their emptiness and lack of dude fluid, but did not get into their addiction in an attempt at dudehood, but because of the horribly addictive and mind-destroying properties of these drugs, and because of the fact that these drugs are allowed and indeed strongly encouraged by the L.S.S. (larger social structure) This is evidence that, like an actual Zombie, this Monster does have Dude Fluid, but it had atrophied and hardened from this kind of self-abuse.12
GHOULS: Ghouls resemble Zombies and Fiends in superficial ways, but there is no discernible drug that has sapped their dude fluid. They simply waste away to nothing for no clear reason. The undeniable existence of Ghouls is one of the profound and sad mysteries of dude science.13
VAMPIRE: This person thrives off the energy of Dude Groups, encouraging the group’s existence without adding their own productive motivation. This Monster is suspected of leeching energy (or Dude Fluid) from the group. Potential Folk Monster.
Monsters discussed elsewhere in Dude Theory are:
ASSHOLES: The Dude Monsterism
COLLECTORS see Chris Ware14
SPORTS DUDES
MONGERS
TOUR HAG
VAMPIRE
BLOB
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