Don't Hate Dudes: An Introduction

This is a great moment in history. We are now embarking on an important step in the progression of human knowledge: the establishment of a rigorous and precise Dude Theory.
Dude Theory can be practiced by anyone with the proper background and training in Dude Science, whatever their personal attitudes towards dudes may be. Scientifically speaking, Dude Theory is inherently value-neutral, and should be objective and therefore without bias or predisposition either in favor of, or opposed to, dudes.

At the same time, we assert that humor must be an important part of any fully rigorous science. And fun may be made of dudes. It is even potentially possible that a Critical Dude Theory could be undertaken, whose purpose was to identify the underlying structures of dude societies for the purposes of undermining and ultimately destroying them.

But, as founders of this branch of human learning, let us make our personal feelings be known: we do not hate dudes. We like dudes. Of all of the four established classes of humans that have been herein identified, dudes are probably our favorites (though we have great respect for, and love of, folks, as well). Our painstaking research in the development of the process of cataloging dude types, values and networks, far from belittling dudes, only demonstrates our commitment to, and appreciation of, dude-hood.

Moreover, we consider ourselves to be dudes. Perhaps it is this fact that so distinguishes Dude Theory from the outmoded sciences that Dude Theory has replaced, such as anthropology and sociology. These old-fashioned theories tended to impose an artificial set of preconceptions, distinctions, and contrived categorical separations between the subjects and objects of their study, with anthropology presenting itself as a group of cultured, civilized, developed, intellectual, scientific minds studying the “primitives,” and sociology presenting itself as the cool, critical, perceptive way of magically stepping outside of culture in order to objectively identify its power structures. We make no such claims. We are no different from, and certainly no better than, the dudes whom we discuss. We are the dudes we’re talking about. (This being said, we’re not into that whole po-mo self-referential navel-gazing thing, either. This isn’t just about us.) Dude Theory makes no claim to redeem its participants from being dudes, through the magic of intellection.

Dude Theory is not just a new theory – it is a revolution in theory itself. Just as mind must now be understood as profoundly embodied, so must theory come to recognize its complete Dudosity.

That having been said, although the founders of Dude Theory are themselves dudes, we would welcome, as a great and important supplement to our research, Dude Theory from a non-dude perspective. We are keenly interested in folk perspectives on dudes, and although we dread the input of dicks, we recognize that it is necessary for the development of our science. (Nonetheless, we must ask: by participating in dude theorizing, are such humans not becoming somewhat dudish?)

So let us state for the record our great and heartfelt love of dudes. “Dude” is an honorific in our vocabulary. It is a sign of respect and admiration when we refer to a person as “a real dude,” not unlike the term “a real Mensch.” We aspire to be real dudes, and for us, Dude Theory is part of becoming a real dude. Dude theory teaches us new techniques to maximize dudehood. For, in our opinion, folks, dicks, and monsters, whatever their relative worth, all necessarily run counter to the spirit of democracy. It is only through the establishment of very strong and supportive Dude Structures that fully-fledged democracy is possible, not to mention such far-flung hopes such as anarchy, socialism, or total dudetopia.